Summer is for Relaxing?... Psych! Here Comes the PRAXIS!!

Prioritize... Procrastinate... Both P-words, but I am way better at one than the other. Guess which?

As far as prioritizing goes, I spent the last 4 days of my life thoroughly deep-cleaning my bedroom here at home so that I could unpack all of my school stuff and move in long-term. (Still so weird to think about.) But, I am taking the PRAXIS (another P-word!) Wednesday (In like 36 hours!), and I am really struggling to get motivated to study. Told you I was better at one than the other. However, I made myself a friendly reminder and I think it may help me out a little bit:

Or maybe not. We'll see if it has any effect on me tomorrow.

But for now I am going to enjoy some home-cooked food that I did not have to make (yes, at 11:30 at night. Maybe I'm a little unconventional.) And go to bed eventually. I have an entire days' worth of studying ahead of me!
❤, Meagan

BYU, the Final Chapter!

It is officially here... The day that I have looked forward to for the last 4 years. And now I am dreading it? Something is wrong with me.

Every single college "first" was so exciting! I remember feeling like such a grown up the first time I payed rent, the first night that I spent away from home in my very own permanent residence, the first time I went grocery shopping and bought whatever I wanted without someone questioning my spending habits (it would have been very helpful for someone to question my spending habits these last 4 years), the first time I left my apartment at like 1 in the morning and didn't have to tell anyone where I was going, my first day of classes, my first college test (not so exciting once I saw my score), my first finals week, my first calling that wasn't in the Young Women organization (relief society pianist - surprise, surprise!), and everything else! It was so exhilarating!

The time really has flown. I remember feeling like college was soooooo long, and I would never be done. And "holy cow, 4 years is forever... It's like high school all over again!" But, the difference was... I hated high school. College has been the best part of my life so far. If I could freeze time right now and not really have to be done I might just do that. Living in Provo has been so good for me. I have grown so much as a person, both spiritually and in my education. And I have met tons of special and wonderful people that have given me so much happiness and good memories!

All of my college "lasts" have also been exciting, don't get me wrong, but they are sad as well! Samantha (my little sister) asked me a few weeks ago if I was excited to be working on one of my last ever final projects and I said no. She looked at me like I was crazy, and I said "Because that means that I am almost done with college!" She was like... "And you don't want to be?" Me: "No!" 

These last few weeks I payed my last rent check, GOT AN INTERNSHIP (Yay!), had my last college class, took my last final (just today, actually), and last night as I was laying in bed talking with my roommate at 2 in the morning about laser hair removal... hahaha... I realized that I only have a few more days of that! I love random 2am conversations with the roommates, and I am now almost done with my college roommate experience! I have had so many ups and downs in that area, but mostly ups... So I am sad to be done with that, too!

Anyway... As mixed as my feelings about everything are, I know that it is time that I move on with my life, whether I feel ready or not. Good things may be ending, but even better things are beginning! I am accomplishing my dreams and moving on in the world, and that is even more exciting than those things that are coming to a close. Life is so amazing!!! And my dear friends who are still in college and struggling through finals/gearing up for next semester... Please don't take it for granted. Because I miss it already!!

❤, Meagan

'Cause You're Amazing, Just the Way You Are!

I saw this video the other day, and I absolutely loved it.  It has such a good message! If you haven't seen it yet you should definitely take a few minutes to watch it.

I think it is so sad that we women see ourselves this way. I think it is true that women are especially prone to negative images of ourselves, but I think that men can also can be their own worst critics. This video specifically talks about beauty, which I think is a very sensitive subject for some individuals. However, I think we are overly critical of ourselves in pretty much every aspect of our lives. We may not be as talented of cooks or singers or athletes as we wish. Maybe we are having a bad hair day, or our face is breaking out. Whatever it is... It does not define you. We've all heard that "God doesn't make mistakes." I sincerely believe that. You are how He intended you to be. :) Rejoice in that. 

I think it is time that we all wake up to how wonderful we really are. And preferably do it in time for finals.

Happy first day of finals, everyone! You've got this. :)

❤, Meagan

And So it Begins!...

Now that this semester is winding down I think my brain needs something else to worry about, since finals totally aren't enough... So I had this hilarious dream the other night, which is great because normally I can't remember my dreams for more than like the 30 seconds right after I wake up. It was my very first "Oh no, it is the first day of school and I'm not ready!" dream. It has begun, ladies and gents. This internship is getting so real and close!

In this dream I dreamed that I was at the school I am doing my internship at. I woke up like 10 minutes before school was supposed to start (in a bed... in my classroom. Apparently this was not all that strange in this dreamscape.) Anyway... I started flipping out because the kids were going to show up and I was in my pajamas. I was freaking out because I did not have extra clothes to wear at school (What, I have a bed and PJ's but no change of clothes? I would be a horrible boy scout.)

At this point I saw my facilitator walk by (the person that is my connection between BYU and my elementary school) and I called out to her... "Elisa!" (I think that is her name. I will have to check again.) "I am freaking out! I am not ready! Will you stay here while my class shows up so I can go home and change?" But she told me that she was leaving for the day, so she could not help me out. Then one of my students showed up and said "Hi, Miss Jardine!" Then I really started freaking out and I was super embarrassed about my unprofessional attire. What are their parents going to think?? So I told her that I would be back and started running (literally) all over the school looking for a change of clothes.

And then I woke up. And cracked up! I am so glad I don't plan on sleeping in my classroom so situations like this will never occur, hahaha. Oh, my brain comes up with the silliest things. :) I love my life. :)

❤, Meagan

You are Not Horrible People

Today someone got up during testimony meeting in church and prefaced his testimony with "You are not horrible people." This kind of took me off guard, but then he reminded us that we all make mistakes and that we all sin. We are not a perfect people, and God loves us regardless. Quite frankly... We are probably doing better than we think we are. We are our own worst critics, after all.

I sincerely believe that this life is not a time to dwell on our imperfections. At least not in an unhealthy way.  In all honesty, complete perfection is impossible for us. I don't mean to sound like a Debby Downer, because I do have a hopeful perspective on this. To me, the point of this life is not complete perfection, it is in striving for perfection. But if we work hard and stick to our beliefs, making every effort to draw nearer to Christ, then we will be able to exhibit our best selves and show Him that we are indeed trying, and we are worthy to inherit all that He has. So there you have it. Whatever you are struggling with, whatever imperfections stare you in the mirror, whatever habit you are just unable to break... It does not make you a horrible person. I think we can all use this reminder at times. God knows you personally, and He loves you and recognizes your efforts. Take comfort in that.

Happy Sunday, everybody! :)
❤, Meagan

Moving Up in the World!

I apologize for not writing more during practicum. I usually have lots of funny stories and happy moments to share because of the kids, but this practicum I didn't have a ton of those. I felt like it was a very stressful and unhappy month for me, and I try not to write about things that will bog people down. So instead I counted down the days until it was over and hoped for happier things to share. And now I have some!

Alright, folks... Most of you may know this already, but I GOT AN INTERNSHIP!!! I realized I addressed my nerves in the last post, but I couldn't leave all of my avid readers (not sure I actually have any of those) hanging! And I am so excited I just want to tell anyone who will listen. Or read. :)

I will be teaching 3rd grade at Riverton Elementary School! An internship fills the same requirements as student teaching, but instead of being in someone else's classroom I have my very own classroom and receive half salary. Since it is my own classroom, I will be there for the whole year rather than just one semester. I am also on a year-round schedule, so the first day of school will be July 25th, which is super soon. I got offered the intern position last Wednesday, but I didn't know much information until today when my principal called me to let me know some details.

So my day went like this... I was super stoked to go to devotional for the first time in over a month, and one of the Special Education professors was speaking, so I knew it would be great. As soon as I found my friend and sat down, I got a phone call. Recognizing it as from somewhere back home I went out to the hall to answer it. It was the principal of the school I am doing my internship at! He had called to inform me of what grade I would be teaching. When I asked what track (between A and B) he said that since I was the first intern hired, and he will be hiring another one tomorrow that he will let me pick first and the other intern will get what is left over. I was excited, because I wanted A track. That way I will get out of school in June instead of July. (Those of you who are not familiar with the year-round track system this calendar will give you a good idea of what I am talking about.)

We had a little conversation about other expectations and how I will likely be rotating classrooms every time I go off track. But... There is actually an incentive to that. Apparently I get an extra $100 every time I have to do this. Win! After our little discussion he welcomed me aboard and said that the secretary would be getting in touch with me soon.

And she did! She called me about half an hour later and asked for some information so that she could sign me up for "New teacher orientation"! I am so official!! Now that I have some more information about this whole thing it is getting so real! I am so incredibly excited, but also nervous! I'm not really sure when I grew up enough to be in charge of helping to shape 25 young peoples' futures.

Anyway... From our short conversation, my principal seems very nice, and I am looking forward to working with him. (And hopefully a friend, if the other intern is someone that I get along well with.) Life is really looking up and I am definitely moving up in the world. :)

Also look at this website. It's my future home. So excited!!! :)
❤, Meagan