Friday, July 26, 2013

Small Moments

I know you are all dying to hear about my internship. Or maybe not, but regardless... I just haven't had time to report much. Here's a little peek at my last minute preparation for it, even if it was mostly just mental prep.

On Wednesday my school was closed, because it was a holiday (Pioneer Day) and school was starting the next day, so it was pretty much do or die at that point. I had to go to Provo to grab some mail since the school district keeps sending it to Provo instead of South Jordan no matter how many times I remind them that I don't live in Provo. After getting my mail, I had time to catch up with friends and roommates, and enlist help in cutting out lamination (yeah, more! It never ends.)  I decided to leave for home earlier than I normally would have had school not been starting the next day. (Eep!) I was a little bit in freak-out mode, as every mile got me closer to home and bed, and school starting the next day! But then, amidst all the driving and psyching myself out I looked out the window and  I saw the prettiest clouds! They looked something like this:
It was then I realized that there is beauty all around me, and I need to take the time to stop and enjoy it... Especially when I feel like I don't have time to. I don't want to get so stressed that all I see is negative. I want to remember to notice the small, simple and beautiful things in my life.

I absolutely love it when the sky looks like this. It makes me feel like I am looking straight at Heaven. This moment just reminded me that yes, this internship is scary and intensely overwhelming, but I am not alone. I have a loving Heavenly Father that will be right there for me every step of the way. When I feel like I'm drowning, and I just can't do it all I know that He will provide the motivation and the means for me to accomplish all things. It was a great moment for me, and it gave me such an immense feeling of peace! From that moment I felt like I could handle things. Even as I woke up and prepared for that first morning, and as the parents/kids started filing in, I was able to calmly greet them and present a well put together front. This peace has carried me through these first 2 days, and I am so thankful for that! I am incredibly grateful for this opportunity and the knowledge that I am doing what I am meant to be, and also for the knowledge that I CAN DO HARD THINGS and in turn, accomplish GREAT things. :)

Here's to an undoubtedly fantastic year!
♥, Meagan

Friday, July 5, 2013

Perfection vs. Perfectionism

This week in institute we were talking about self-esteem and why it is so important in our lives and our relationships. One boy mentioned that there is a difference between being a perfectionist and striving for perfection. At first thought I didn't see it, but as he explained: You do not have to be perfect. Do not beat yourself up or go into bouts of self-loathing every time you make a mistake. IT'S OK TO MESS UP! Christ doesn't expect us to be perfect, so we shouldn't either. What is expected is that we strive for eventual perfection, and keep moving towards it. The most important thing is the happiness that we find along the way. As cheesy as that sounds - we really are meant to be happy. This life is all about finding our place in the world, finding what and who we love, and making the best of every situation.

On a related note, I found this quote and I like it: 
"Perfection means not perfect actions in a perfect world, but appropriate actions in an imperfect one."

As I have given this concept more thought this week, and simultaneously realized that my first day of school is 3 weeks from yesterday (eek!), I have realized that this internship is going to be the most intensely difficult (duh), but also the most rewarding thing I have ever done. It will be hard. I will struggle, I will encounter some failures, and there will probably be plenty of tears. This is going to be tough on my perfectionist nature. But... I am confident that there will be moments of greatness. I will triumph, I will laugh, I will love each of my little kiddos, and I will know that I am making a difference. It would be completely unrealistic to expect or even try for a perfect experience. So instead I will just do my best and love every minute of it! :)
♥, Meagan